so you know how everyone is always like lol illuminati 666 hail satan the south will rise again etc.
well today i was like hey what exactly was the illuminati anyways? and i
Next time on: I didn’t know I was a member of the Illuminati.
Plot twist: Tumblr is literally the Illuminati.
am i in a cult
Independence from the Sexual Revolution (via medusasseveredhead)
Oooooh girl. Now that I live with a lesbian couple I’ve been wondering why the dishes situation feels soooo fucking different and this articulated it perfectly.
This is really well put, and it rings true in my own situation - I do all the cooking, cleaning and childcare, but if I fuck up with any of those things, in the eyes of general society, I don’t get the blame - she does, because they think it’s still fundamentally her responsibility, she gets the blame for delegating badly. People think I’m amazing for doing normal, everyday standard shit, and I never get criticised because they think it’s a miracle that I’m even doing it in the first place. If she was doing what I do people would think of her as just a run of the mill housewife, but for some reason it makes me exceptional. It’s bullshit.
Ask me how many times I had to say thank you if my ex washed any dishes or did any other housework. It was as much of a job praising him for the work as it would have been to do it.
Ask me how many times he thanked me for cleaning the bathroom, doing the kitty litter, making the bed, doing the dishes, scrubbing the toiler, gathering laundry.
And then it hit me: I thank him because he is doing me a favour. He doesn’t thank me because you don’t thank someone for doing THEIR JOB.
I don’t thank him for doing the dishes. That’s his job. I do thank him for cooking, but that’s because I love his cooking. He doesn’t thank me for doing yard work. He doesn’t thank me for feeding cats, and I don’t thank him for feeding cats, but we both feed cats. We swap other chores around, and neither of us feels guilty about saying thank you or not, because we do the chores we want to do and we know so does the other one. I’ll ask him for special shopping items, but he knows if he depended on me for shopping we’d starve. Sometimes he finagles me into a store and laughs at the faces I make.
I do thank him for a rush job of laundry when I’m going away. He does laundry anyway; it’s the rush job that’s special.
Perhaps our hetero relationship is a little different from most.
Perhaps if these things were negotiated beforehand, and both parties kept the negotiation up? Having an unequal distribution of household work just breeds resentment—that’s why we worked things out the way we did. It really helped that he’d been raised to do housework.